Letter from Jesus about Christmas

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are
taking My name out of the season.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily
understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your
own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My
birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in
which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get
rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene
on your own front lawn If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any
need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of
them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday
tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can
remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish:
I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in
relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten
that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my
wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is
being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from
home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they
tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them
personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the
cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that
you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up... It
will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and
they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth,
and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and
remind them that I love them.

5 Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own
life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you
don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile;
it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the
holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm
smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry
Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop
shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that
day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their
families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary--
especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never
heard My name.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your
town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they
have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some
food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other
charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and
loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret
that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that
you are one of mine.

Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do
what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the
list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is
now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those
whom you love and remember :
I LOVE YOU,

JESUS

Ice Skating

Ice skating for the 1st time at age 34 is not recommended! Some of our friends thought it would be fun if we all got together to go ice skating last night, we had a ton of fun. I never fell but I was very thankful for my arms...they kept me balanced. The boys have never ice skated but they caught on easily and in no time were speeding around the rink. They couldn't figure out by I couldn't go as fast as them since they never did it either, well I'm going to admit age makes a difference and I was scared...that's an embarrassing fall. We had a great time and we're pretty sure the boys will be wanting to go again.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Gobble Gang

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

So this past week I received many turkey stories via email and in person after writing about the Gobble Gang last week. You know, the wild turkey gang that keeps showing up near to where I work. They make me nervous. I don't like them. I have a bad history with wild turkeys and it's not pretty.

My favorite story came to me in church Sunday morning from my friend Eunice. She and her husband live in a place with a beautiful view. They have a few small trees in their back yard that have some type of berries on the top. They've actually witnessed a Gobble Gang fly up to the tops of these trees and plop right down on them so they can eat the berries. The trees are small. Light weight. Delicate. Not sturdy. So when the gobblers sit on top of them, the trees bow over, creating a ridiculous picture. Can't you see it? The Gobble Gang in the tree tops and the trees bending over so far the gobblers' gobbles are lost in the ground, which their wattles are touching. And for what? Teeny tiny berries that won't make one bit of difference in their big tummies.

A comical picture and yet, at times it reminds me of myself. Let's say the berries are blessings. In the Bible it says that God wants to bless us. Just like a father wants good things for his children, God wants only good things for us.

And if you're like me, you want to be blessed. You're ready for some of those blessings. You say, "Here I am, Lord. Give it to me and give it to me now!"

But sometimes God calls us to wait for those blessings. To be patient. To have faith they will come. To grow in faith while we wait. To have the discipline to obey and wait. To go through a certain season first. But sometimes we don't want to wait. We want instant blessings. Now!

So, using our little human brains we think we'll go get those blessings for ourselves. We ignore the Holy Spirit trying to counsel us to wait. We ignore the Bible verses that keep popping into our heads. Ones with the theme of waiting upon the Lord. Other giant neon signs come our way that say, "God will bless you. Just wait. And they will be humongous blessings." So do we wait? Of course not.

We find ourselves in a giant grocery store of possibilities for those who wait upon the Lord. We see several beautiful neon lights flashing. No free popcorn here, but other things like Peace of Mind. Spiritual Growth. The Peace that Passes Understanding. Joy that Comes from Long Suffering and more. So much more. Every shelf is filled with blessings. And they overflow. The more people receive them, the more the blessings grow.

But we don't want to wait. Like Abraham's wife, Sarah, we get tired of waiting. We lose faith. We try to take things into our own (incapable) hands. How do you think that works out? Not so good.

We're like the Gobble Gang. We exert so much energy getting to the top of the blessing tree that when we get up there, we can do no more. We can barely open our mouths. We can barely grab the blessings that we have a hard time seeing. They're so teeny tiny even up close. From the ground didn't they look bigger? It's like being on the old game show "Lets' make Deal." You could choose Door Number One, but you see a big box with a shiny bow. You pick that instead. When they open the box there's one dirty sock inside. And behind Door Number One? Treasures beyond anything you could have dreamed up.

So the teeny tiny berry blessings are like the dirty sock. Nothing at all what they looked like from the ground. In reality, they are simply nothing. They don't give any nourishment. They do not satisfy our thirst. They don't feed or quench any type of spiritual hunger.

So how can we get blessings from God?

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

And don't be part of the Gobble Gang. Wait on the Lord. He's worth it.

My mother gave me this article last night and it was just what I needed to hear. Sometimes I look for answers or small signs that this wait is exactly what the Lord is calling us to do. Like He owes me that or something?!?!? but He sure knows how to speck to me when I'm being still and listening instead of making so much noise myself.

I feel truely blessed this Thanksgiving, for a God that never quits, a wonderful hubby, 2 boys, a daughter waiting for us, my family, my church family, our carrers, our home, our health and thats not all I could go on and on but as we traveled home tonight from spending Thanksgiving with my parents in law I was thinking about something Im thankful for but don't think I ever expressed it so out of the blue or random like Austin says I told Jamie and the boys that I was thankful for Amara's mom and dad. Jamie just looked at me..he got it but Austin says why mom, well if it wasnt for those two very special people that I may never met we wouldnt have Amara. So tonight, no matter where they are I'm thanking God for their lives.

Remember to thank the Lord for all your blessing

A Blessing

I am in complete awe of what God can do. Yes I know He can do the impossible but when He sends you something like this I just sit back and think wow He really is good. As we approach the holidays its a bittersweet feeling. I have so many things to be thankful for, my relationship with my heavenly Father, my family, my hubby, my kiddos, my friends, my church family, my health, you see I could go on and on yet I'm not feeling complete. A part of my heart is in Russia but God gave me a blessing today. Almost a month into our wait a blessing came from above...we got an updated picture of Amara and how sweet she is. We asked when the paper work mess started if they thought we'd see an updated picture before April/May and they said more than likely not but God is bigger and we got one. She is getting older and we're missing out on parts of her life but God keeps showing us the way. I feel very blessed to have so many pictures of her already, it's almost as if we've known her from birth.

I am thankful that I serve such as amazing God, He is so good to me and even though the next 5 months may be hard and unknown He continues to show me that He's still in this with us. What more could I ask for? As sad as I am that she's not home with us right now I'm rejoicing at the same time.

following an unknown path

I go on not knowing — I would not if I might; I would rather walk in the dark with God than go alone in the light.

Happy Adoption Day

It's almost been a year since we started this amazing journey to find our daughter. I never imagined the twists, turns and hurdles we'd have to jump to get where we are but it's been amazing. Some days are filled with joy while others are filled with tears but God is giving us peace and this kind of peace could only come from Him. Wishing everyone in the adoption circle a Happy Adoption Day, a hug for all our close friends who are looking into adoption and sending love 1/2 way across the world to a very special girl.

Dear Amara,

Mommy prays for you every single day. I never thought I'd be such a great customer of Amazon but you're room is filling up with great books that I can't wait to read to you while we snuggle in the chair. As much as I'd love to be the one caring and watching over you everyday I can't be but God is and there's nobody that I could ask who's do a better job than Him, so I know you're safe. Only 160 more days!

Love Mommy

Time has past

For those who have emailed to see if I'm alright...I am. I haven't been so faithful to my blog lately and I actually have good reason. I needed some time but it's more than that. When we first started our paperwork last Dec for me it was all about God and I didn't care who thought I was crazy for my choice to adopt or who tried to talk me out of it I was moving forward to glorify God but somewhere from the time we got that precious picture of Amara until we almost lost her I lost that purpose. I was so caught up in myself, shopping for Amara, getting her room ready that "for God's glory" took a back seat and so did my family and all that's important to me. Most of you can't imagine the emotions that where wrapped up in the last 2 months of my life unless you've personally lived it and even though it's hard and it still is I'm so grateful it all happened. I was doing things "Jill's way" and I'm glad God called out to be in a very loud bold voice. I feel I'm closer to God now than ever before and you see my friends that's His plan. He isn't doing this with the intentions to hurt me it's to strengthen me. This leads me to why I've been away...am I still going to blog our journey? Yes and am I still going to facebook? Yes but now that I feel I'm back on the path I started out on I'm going to try to stay here. This next 6 months is not mine so instead of writing in this blogger journal everyday I'm going to spend more time with the Lord, spend more one on one time with my boys and Jamie and do things that glorify the Lord. My prayer has been that He would use me as He sees fit so I'm going to stay close to Him with my eyes wide open. It's not about me and I love the Lord so much I can't wait to start living my life more for Him.

I hope God is blessing you in ways you never imagined.

Love
Jill

Let the countdown begin

Talked with our agency today and nothing has changed besides we cleared the 10 day wait from court. Our 6 month countdown offically started yesterday Nov 1st. The wait is not always going to be easy and we're just going to take one day at a time and pray the Lord gives us everything we need for that day.

Please keep Amara in your prayers as there are still alot of circumstances that we may have to work through. Pray for us as well, we never imagined what this journey was going to look like or feel like when we started it last Dec. and we're glad we didn't. When I was praying about the choice to adopt God plainly said to me "come follow me" but He never said it was going to be easy. I believe His plan was to take the longest route knowing that by doing this and giving me a vision of what I'm doing it for that I'd grow in my relationship with Him. I'm actually thanking Him for this. Of course I'd love to bring Amara home tomorrow but like I said in a previous post I want to be at a place where all I need is Him and to be filled completely by Him. I've come along ways but God has some work to do on me and I beleive that's why we're talking the long route.

Amara my precious daughter who I long to hold and cuddle with, mommy and daddy and your 2 brothers will never leave you. You are in our hearts forever. Mommy is praying for you everyday and praying that God brings one very special caretaker in your life, one who will love and care for you until we get there. I love you so much and can't wait until next spring when we can play outside and rejoice because God chose you for us. My kisses will contuine to come to you through the air and the light we put on in your room as we anticipated your coming will remain on until you arrive.

I love you Amara
Love Mommy

Genesis 22

Today as I was studying The Word the Holy Spirit spoke to me through Genesis 22. The story of Abraham and Issac. I realized after pondering this story, that God is calling me to lay Amara down on the alter out of obedience. I dream of her every day, wonder if she’s ok, wonder what she’ll look like in 6 months, think about all the firsts that I’ll miss, I long to hold her and call her my daughter. However, God has spoken very clearly to me that I must lay her down on the alter and trust Him to take care of her future. I have to be at a place spiritually where God is all I need and I am willing to lay down everything else on the alter as a sacrifice to Him. I have to be willing to lose her if it be His will, in order for Him to be willing to say, as He did to Abraham, "Jill, Jill! Now that I know you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your daughter, your only daughter" He will provide another sacrifice. I believe God has been in a long process of leading me to a place where I am willing to fully give up everything to Him so that He can give me the desires of my heart without me sacrificing my relationship with Him. Amara is already like a daughter to me and I love her so much I can't even explain it. However, I must be willing to give up everything, even her, and lay her down at Jesus' feet in order to experience the peace I know He will give me when I obey His call to sacrifice.

You see, it's not about me... It's not about Amara... It's not about Jamie or our family. It's about our relationship with Christ, and His relationship with us. If we put anything before Him and try to hold onto them tighter than we hold onto our Maker, we are being disobedient.

So, after prayer and time to accept the reality of this situation I’ve decided I am ready to lay her down at His feet for Him to do His will in her life. I pray with everything that is in me that she will be ours to care for on this earth very soon. But, if He chooses to take her, I have to be at a place that I will be ok because I will still have Jesus. It is then, that I really do believe, He will give us back our daughter.

Take a look at Genesis 22 one more time... and allow Him to speak to your heart about what you need to lay down on the alter today. When we let things go and we become ok with the fact that we could lose our most precious possessions because we will still have our Savior, it is then that He will bless us. And I do believe, His most amazing blessings are yet to come. I believe Amara is meant to be in our family, but I KNOW she is more importantly, His.

There will be days and moments where I know Satan will attack me and I will be fighting the battle to keep my heart and mind right here, in this scripture. Pray that I can stay here, and find the peace that passes all understanding in this promise revealed to me.

Thank you Jesus, for teaching me to give it all to you, so you can give more than I can comprehend in blessings back into my life. Amen.

Court Update

1st and foremost we want to thank everyone for their prayers and kind words over the past few days. We got word on Thursday from our agency that the court hearing was successful however Anna will still need to be put back on the Russian registry for another 6 months. In Russian adoptions anytime a bio family member comes to the orphanage, asks about a child or shows interest in a specific child the law says that the child needs to be reassigned to the registry for at least 6 months. At this time we as a family feel that God has called us to Anna and have agreed to wait out the 6 months. 6 months is nothing compared to the lifetime we hope to share with her. If all goes as planned we will be traveling to Russia April/May 2010.



In Him,

Jamie, Jill, Tristan and Austin Verduin

Update

Thanks for all the prayers. Last night was a serious time of prayer and trusting for me. I was talking to Wendy as the Smolensk clock hit 9am and I had this crazy feeling over come me, it was like I was actually appearing in court myself. I spent a lot of time in prayer alone and with friends last night and I feel a sense of peace. What I'm feeling can not come from my human power it's God, I'm feeling his closeness.

Wendy said they would more than likely hear from the coordinator soon on how court went so we are eagerly awaiting more information.

I slept the whole night and didn't wake until my alarm went off, now that's a God thing. He's blanketing my heart and for that I have to praise Him.

A huge thanks to everyone that's praying along with us and to the Whitts for the thoughtful gift and the De Jong's for taking time to pray with us and bless us with baked goods. Like I always say God knows just what we need when we need it. We feel blessed to have people like you in our lives.

I will update you all as soon as we hear more.

Please pray,
The Verduin's

Please Pray

The last few weeks have been a time of stretching, leaning and trusting on the Lord. We've had many different situations kinda thrown at us and many days we didn't humanly have the answers so we've decided to just enjoy the ride and let God lead us in every aspect of this journey. The paperwork situation with Anna (Amara) has escalated to court. The court hearing is set for this coming Tuesday. Please pray that God leads the judge in his/her decision for the best interest of Anna. We will not know the outcome of court for at least 2 weeks. Please pray!

Prayer Needed

We are a family that firmly believes God hears and answers prayers! Take a moment and say a prayer that doors are opened in our adoption and we are soon called to make our 1st visit to see Amara! We need your prayers.

A glimpse of His plan

It has been a windy road over here and some days we just do all we can to hang on as the Lord leads us down roads seldom traveled. The past week has kinda been all over the place. I called our agent on Tues and again the gal that has been working the case (this is not the gal that I've worked with the whole time through the paperwork) told me what she always says...I haven't heard anything but I will email Russia. I wasn't happy with that answer, this has been going on alittle over 2 weeks and someone somewhere has to know more. Is this actually being worked, are they doing what they need to do, how are they trying to find this man to get him to sign off? I needed answers. Later in the day on Tuesday I called the gal I've always worked with and explained my frustration, to us this is serious. She totally agreed with me and said she would take this to someone higher up so we get answers. By Wednesday morning I got a call and she had answers. She told me that the coordinator in Russia is very hopeful and thinks we need to wait this out. We were also informed that she would not have to go back on the database for another 6 months like we were previously told. This was great news. We were faced with allot of questions this week like how long will you wait for her, do you want to start another adoption while we wait, do you just want to look at other referrals, we had no idea how to answer any of these. All we knew was that God hasn't shut the door and we believe she is our daughter so how can you move on. A friend of mine said its not over til its over so we began praying that if God wanted the door shut that He would just shut it so we could move on...within two days we good this great news. God has given us a glimpse of His plan and we're holding on to that right now. We have no idea how long we'll need to wait but as a family we've agreed that we'll wait as long as needed or until God closes the door.

We covet your prayers at this time and are praying that every door that needs to be opened in Russia is opened soon so we can make our 1st visit.

Dear Amara,

There isn't a moment in the day that goes by that you aren't thought about. Mommy, daddy and your 2 brothers are running through rough waters and jumping every hurdle possible to bring you home. We almost can't stand the thought of you waking up one more day in the orphanage but we trust God is taking care of you. Keep catching our kisses in the wind and know that the 4 of us back here waiting for you will never ever give up or forget about you. We love you and so does God.

Be there soon,
Love Mom, Dad, Tristan and Austin

Fear Not

God is leaving the door! Our agency said they got word back that their contact in Russia is working on things and should know something more by the first part of next week. I'm content with this. I'm glad to know it's being worked and glad to know the door hasn't shut. This is totally in God's hands and I trust Him.

If not through the door than through a window ~ Russian Proverb

This was shared by a fellow Christian.

How often does God need to say, “fear not” or “don’t be afraid” before we actually get the idea that as His followers we do not need to be afraid of anything? Apparently at least one more time than the hundred times He already has said it in His word. I have been struck recently by the realization that so much of what happens in the world of Christians is driven by fear, in spite of this clear message from God. Given the fact that we believe, at least in our heads, that God is the sovereign King of the Universe, I am amazed at how often Christians act as if God has no clue what is going on and that doom is clearly upon us. Yet time and time again in His word God say, “Do NOT be afraid!”

Why does God tell us not to fear? There are two reasons. We need not fear anything because God is still the sovereign Lord and that means He is in control. I love how Paul says it in Romans chapter 8 after listing a series of things that people might fear he says:

“37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

We have nothing to fear because God’s love is so strong that nothing can separate us from it. The reason nothing can separate us from it is the second reason that we must not be afraid. Jesus promised that he would always be with us. We are never alone. No matter how desperate or dark the situation seems, you are never alone. When you have put your faith, your trust in Jesus Christ for your salvation, he promises to never leave or forsake you. I draw incredible strength from the fact that Jesus is always with me. To never be alone is huge! Even if disaster should strike, we need not fear because we have not been abandoned. If nothing else we know that we have a place with Him for eternity. That is what really matters.

The problem is that we are afraid for things that are temporary. We are afraid for our economic position, our reputation, our health, our happiness, our children’s comfort and safety, the list goes on. Our perspective needs to be a long view into the future. The Apostle Paul looked at all the things in this life, all he had gained and counted it as nothing more than dung compared to the surpassing riches of his relationship with Christ. If your hope is set on your health, then losing your health is a fearful thing. If your hope is set on your material things, then the lose of those is a frightening prospect. If your hope is set on your reputation in the community, or business world then having that threatened is frightening and painful. But if your hope is set on Jesus Christ and his promise to be with you always and it is set on his assurance that you need not fear, then you can be confident. You can be confident that no matter what the temporary situation is, Jesus has you covered.

So often we are afraid of the unknown. We may not know the temporary details. But we do know the permanent, eternal outcome of all things. We are victorious in Christ. On top of that we know that He knows even the temporary details. He is not caught of guard. Jesus has you covered and He is with you always. Fear Not!

The door is still open...

Just wanted to let you all know that we called our agency this afternoon and they havent heard anything. They were going to email their people in Russia and see if "they" have decided what direction this was going to go. We are still trying to figure out who they are....it's God to us so we're turning it over to Him. We will be calling our agency again tomorrow to see if they got a reply on the email and I will update you as soon as I hear.

We are so thankful the Lord lives within us otherwise this journey would be too much! God is good to us, always has been always will be even when He answers differently than we hoped.

Thanks for all the prayers we can feel them across the miles.

Isaiah 40:31
"But they that wait upon the LORD
shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as EAGLES
they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint"



Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come.
When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages, below the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm, it simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.

When the storms of life come upon us ... and all of us will experience them ... we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God.

The storms do not have to overcome us, we can allow God's power to lift us above them. God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure, and disappointment into our lives. We can soar above the storm.

Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.


~ Author Unknown ~

Hurdles

I've brought this big white box up a few times in the last 4 days and couldn't find a single word to write. I even wondered if I should be trying and through prayer and the help of some very special people who have listened and walked beside me the past few days I've decided that as much as I hurt I also need prayer warriors in a big way. There are some issues with Amara's paperwork on the Russian side. This could either prolong or bring us to opening our home to a different child. This hurts, this is confusing but we know that God is a big God and that He knows the plans He has for us. Sometimes it's not like we planned or hoped and that's where trust and faith is so very important. I am so thankful that I've accepted God to be my Saviour. As bad as this hurts my human heart I am at a great place of peace, which I'll be honest is very hard to explain. I sometimes think I should be more of a mess than I am and than I remember that it's God and He's comforting me.

As a selfish human I would pray that Amara comes home to us but the ultimate goal for me when I started this was to open my home to an orphan to lessen the # in orphanages and if it's not this child God knows our home and hearts are open and when He sees fit He will bring her to us. God knows that I love Amara and He knows what's best for her.

We have decided to open this to you as we know all our followers and we ask that as much as your stomach is suddenly feeling sick and shivers are creeping up your spine that you don't feel sorry for us...just pray for us and for Amara.

We sorry if we talked to some of you in the last few days or few hours and couldn't find the words to tell you. This has been tough. We are thankful for every one of your prayers and concerns and especially those who helped me through the last few days.

I will update you as we know more, however please respect our wishes that at this time we would like your prayers but don't care to share a lot of details.

God is good and He is bigger than any hurdle or bump. We're not giving up, we're not turning back. Adoption was for us to glorify God and that's still the path we're on.

I have to share this short story that I feel is so fitting for me and probably a lot of you.

At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn't know Him. But later on, when I met God, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back, helping me pedal.

I don't know when it was that He suggested that we change places, but life has not been the same since. When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable... It was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal."

I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me gifts to take on my journey...and we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high rocks, knows how to fly to shorten scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with God as my delightful constant companion. And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, He just smiles and says,

"Pedal"

~ Author Unknown ~

He Is

Come Alive - Mark Schultz

Father let the world just fade away
Let me feel Your presence in this place
Lord I've never been so weary
How I need to know You're near me
Father let the world just fade away
'Til I'm on my knees
'Til my heart can sing

He is
He was
He always will be
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
He is

Father let Your Holy Spirit sing
Let it calm this storm inside of me
As I stand amazed
Lift my hands and say

He is
He was
He always will be
He lives
He loves
He's always with me
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still my soul

Through every fear
And every doubt
In every tear I shed
Down every road
I'm not alone
No matter where I am

He is
He was
He always will be
He lives
He loves
He's always with me
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still my soul
Be still and know
Be still my soul
He is

What you're waiting for

I'm here like promised, planned to get this done first thing this morning but that never happened. I had a scare...I thought I lost, misplaced or dumped our I600A approval. My mind seems a little scattered lately but all is OK I found them. That completes our Dossier #2 because medicals were done last Wednesday and we picked up results and Dr licenses yesterday. I am now searching for crisp 100 dollar bills to take to Russia. I looked at our suitcases last night and thought about getting them out but decided to rewrite the questions and packing list for Trip 1 instead. I got a packing list from a dear friend however it needed to be adjusted because we're packing light...1 carry on and 1 backpack for each of us! Before we get to the room pictures I have to share our latest purchase, Jamie and I went to Wal Mart together last night and picked up a few things. It was fun!


Austin's Room...I actually ended up painting this one a few times because the 1st yellow we had was way to bright. Ceiling fan and curtains will make this room complete, besides other "things" he wants to hang on the way but I'm done with my part.



Tristan's Room...complete as soon as ceiling fan is hung. We are a host family this year for 2 NWC soccer players so he can't wait for them to come over and see his room.



Our Room...I wasn't so sure of this color at 1st but I really like it now, it's refreshing.




Amara Marie Anna's Room... yep that's her name. Amara was picked by Jamie originally and when I looked up the meaning and found out it meant Grace I was convinced that this was the name God wanted for her. Marie is after my amazing sister and Anna is her Russian name. I love her room and it's complete besides her!




I did some painting in the hall awhile back. I was worried about it being too dark but think it looks nice with the decor.


We are meeting with a family tonight that adopted from Russia 3 years ago, I can't wait to hear their story and share ours. Please pray that God directs our visit and tomorrow night it's a welcome home party for our friends that are coming home from China. Yipppeee can't wait. They get into Omaha at 10:30pm so it'll be a late night but I'm super excited.

We haven't heard anything different or new on travel dates but I will be talking to agency today and hopefully will have news to post soon.

I am going to be starting a new fundraiser. I will post information on that soon. It's a fun fun fundraiser with lots of items I'm sure you'll like just as much as I do!

Hi Amara,

It's mommy again. Just wanted to let you know that there isn't a day that goes by that I don't dream about you. I hope you contuine to catch my kisses and know that mommy and daddy are coming soon! I can't wait to see your beautiful face.

I love you Amara!

Im over it...for now

OK now that I have a small group of followers and I know whose reading the blog I'm going to let some feelings go. The past few days have not been the easiest and I'm not sure why. I have to admit that most of it is my fault. I get high hopes. I keep thinking that today will be the day we get the call on travel dates and nothing than I think OK tomorrow and nothing than OK next week and nothing. At this point I've started to upset myself so to make it worse I go looking at other peoples time lines to see how long they waited which makes it worse. We were originally told that they thought we'd travel at the end of Sept so I was hoping we'd have dates by now. We were also told that because of her age it might take longer than normal so I shouldn't be all the shocked that its been almost a month since we accepted however I'm human and I want to go now. This is when I have to remember that God is in control. On top of this the devil has been attacking me with doubt, fear and what ifs. Today I just couldn't take it and I cried out for help. I know I need to trust Him but looking at Miss A's picture everyday and not being able to see her just got to me. Tonight I spend some time in prayer, God knows my heart and He knows whats best. I have to remember that while I'm waiting I am to serve Him and right now for reasons I don't understand He needs me here more than He needs me in Russia. I will share one attack. Since I thought we might be gone by this weekend I don't have anything planned so the devil was playing around with me today, trying to make me believe that because I wasn't in Russia I deserved a Jill day when in all reality I told a friend of mine I would support her family in the Buddy Walk if I was here. I let him toy with my mind for awhile and than God spoke to me and he reminded me that while I'm waiting I was to serve Him..it's not about Jill so before the devil took one more strike at me I committed to my friend that I would be there on Sat. That may be 1 reason while I'm still here and not in Russia, God is making sure I'm listening. Another reason is He crossed our path with a family from Orange City that also adopted from Russia and we have having coffee with them tomorrow night and Thursday night we are taking the Bilby kids to Omaha to welcome their parents and Jada home from China and Sat is the Buddy Walk. I'm a tool in God's tool box and He is using me right where I am so until He says go I will serve Him right here.

I have been asked to post finished pictures of the bedrooms I was painting. They are all finished besides ceiling fans in the boys rooms and I'm having Austin's curtains made out of his bedskirt which arent finished but I will post pictures tomorrow. We have also decided that because we made our blog private to share Miss A's full name so you can start praying for us and her by name. That will be tomorrow....her name is on her bedroom wall so the secret would be out anyway. See you all tomorrow!

Love Jill

How Long Must I Wait, Lord?

And the Lord answered me and said: Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables that they may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end, it shall speak and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. (Habakkuk 2: 2, 3)

Have you ever been given a vision by God that seems like it will not come to pass? The waiting turns from days to weeks to months and sometimes even years. I, too, am at that place in God. I am waiting for the fulfillment of His promises spoken to me.

God may have given a word to you about the salvation of a loved one, about going forth in your ministry, about a new home, about a financial breakthrough, about a godly mate, about healing for yourself or someone you know, about a new business venture, or adding to your family. Whatever the vision He has put in your heart and spirit, know that He will bring it to pass in His timing.

God is not a man that He should lie; nor the son of man that He should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? (Numbers 23:19)

I have learned in my walk with God that He answers in three ways: Yes, No, and Wait. The answer "Wait" is sometimes hard for me to comprehend. How long must I wait, Lord? God responded to me by His Holy Word:

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. (Psalm 27:14)

I am learning that the waiting process is not all bad. In this process God is molding me to become more like Him and making me ready for His promises. He is stretching me in my faith and allowing me to trust Him more, regardless of how the circumstances seem to be playing out. I am surrendering daily and waiting for the promise.

I've had a year that proved to be one of those seasons of truly waiting on the Lord.

As a sister in the Lord, I encourage you as well. As you are waiting for His promise to you to be fulfilled, let Him be glorified through you. As you are continue to trust in His perfect timing, though it tarry, wait for it. It will surely come to pass. It will not tarry.

Going Private

I will be allowing anyone that wants to follow our blog to send me their email address within the next 24 hrs and I will send you an invite. You can email me privately or in the comments. We aren't trying to hide from anyone or anything only protecting our family.

No words

There are simply no words to explain the pain in ones heart when they know their daughter is waiting in an orphanage without the love of a family and you can't go see her. It's been over 3 weeks since we signed the acceptance papers and still no invite to come. It's a time thing and I'm leaning on the Lord but as you see families get travel dates that only accepted a week ago its hard. Our agency is the best there is but they also have to wait for the Russian side to say "OK let them come" so everyday you wonder if this will be the day the phone rings and you begin to pack your bags, to leave part of you family here and meet the one waiting for you 1/2 way around the world.

I get asked this questions a lot...what can we do? It's simple dear friends. PRAY. Our lives are living proof that prayer changes things. I have an emptiness in my heart today and it aches to scoop my daughter up and love her forever so please take a minute of your time to cover our family and Miss A in prayer!

Blessed

I had a busy weekend so I wasn't able to post but I've thought a lot about the words to use in this post and I'll be honest I don't have them and probably never will but it's time for me to share what God has been up to.

In a previous post I wrote about wanting to bring an Angel Bear to A on our 1st trip. I'm kind of a I'll do that now, I'll get that right now gal but for some reason I never really pursued looking or buying the Angel Bear. Was I going to before I left? Yes but God had other plans.

You could only imagine what I felt when I came home from work on Friday to find this sitting on my kitchen island....

An Angel Bear! and Angel Bear had a note. This bear was giving to friends of ours who lost a child 11 years ago and after reading my blog they said they knew God was asking them to pass it on. They now have decided to let us take Angel Bear to A. After reading the card all I could do was cry happy tears. We are so blessed and God has crossed our paths with some very amazing people. Angel Bear is still sitting on the hutch in our kitchen and every time I look at it I'm amazed at how obvious God is in my life. I plan to move it to A's crib until it's time to travel to Russia. Angel Bear has a name....in our home Angel Bear will be called Kade (Kade is Pam/Derrick's son who God took home 11 yrs ago).

Thanks to the Derrick & Pam De Haan family A will now have an Angel to watch over her.

Humbly we Thank You
The Verduin's and Miss A

Remembering 9/11

We want to especially remember the firefighters, the policemen, the medical personnel, rescue workers, and all the common people who helped others on the attack sites during the actual disaster days, and those who helped to clean up in the aftermath of 9-11-01. Some of them accomplished some truly heroic tasks, and deserve to be called heroes!

These people did save some lives, helped multitudes of people on the attack sites, and accomplished the tremendous task of clearing all the dead bodies, rubble, and debris from the destroyed buildings and aircrafts. They didn't concern themselves with their own comfort but unselfishly were more concerned about others - even to the point of losing their lives. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

There were 346 people who died that day. To many this day only comes once a year to the families that lost loved ones it's a day that's replayed in their minds daily. Please pray for all these families as they put one more year behind them!

1 step closer

We received our I600A approval today...Finally! I'll admit it I was getting nervous about that, I was afraid we'd get travel dates and no approval. We're approved, now hurry up travel dates I wanna see A asap.

I'm getting ready to head for bed and Miss A is getting ready to start another day.

A, mom hopes that you have an amazing day and that you feel extra loved today because we all love you and so does God. I can't wait for you to meet your brothers, they're so excited to have you home. I also have a really cool guy I can't wait to tell you about...He's our Father, we call Him Lord! Your brothers think that you're going to have crazy looking clothes, they don't know how cute you're going to look in them. I love seeing your clothes hanging in Austin's closet. Sorry you don't have a closet in your room so you have to share with him! Mom's trying to find an angel that I can bring to you so a angel can watch over you while mom and dad leave, don't worry it won't be long and than we'll be back. I love you and thank God and your birth mother for your life every day. See you soon! Love Mom

A Half A World Away

A half a world away
Sometimes it seems we’re so far apart
But a half a world away
Is not too far for a journey of the heart

My little one, my bundle of joy
My precious daughter, my baby girl
I know your waiting too

A half a world away
A child waits for a family of her own
While a half a world away
A family waits to come bring her home

My little one, my bundle of joy
I’m whispering a prayer
My presious daughter, my baby girl
I hope to soon be there

I hope that we
Will no longer be
A half a world away...

Mom loves you A and I will be coming!

A's Room

What a fun weekend. We went and picked up A's crib this weekend. Jamie and I were going to spend the day together and than decided to make it a family day. The boys weren't all so excited at first but we had a great day. I enjoy watching the boys get more and more excited about having a sister as the time gets closer. We still haven't heard on travel dates, we are ready to go but we know we aren't the ones in control...God is and so far He's taking good care of us and I know He's watching over A until we get there. I am trying to find a stuffed angel, I want to bring that with us on our 1st trip along with her blanket that we've been sleeping with for weeks now! I love her so much and I can't wait to show her off to the world.

Jamie couldn't figure out why someone would give us a crib without instructions. haha


Yes! Even mom had to put a few screws in


We choose the highest level for the mattress but we may have to lower it. I guess we'll change that when Miss A gets home


I'm not completely done with her room so here's a sneak peak...


Dear Lord, You are an amazing Father that has the power to do things us humans could only dream about. Of all the 147 million orphans in the world you laid your eye's on little A and brought her into our life. I believe with all my heart that she was hand picked by you so I know she's the perfect angel for our family. Please watch over her until it's time for us to go. I love her and I know you do too. Thanks for her life, what a precious gift you gave us.

Love Jill

Pizza Ranch

So we've been told that it would most likely be the end of September before our 1st trip. It seems like a long wait so I need to keep busy and I only have 1 level in our home that I could repaint which is the basement so I've decided to save that for between trips. Yes I plan everything! For those of you who've been through the adoption journey you will understand this and for those who haven't you will....waiting is hard, you dream a lot and wonder about a lot of things, like hair color, eye color etc but once you get that picture and you can look at your son/daughter everyday it's different, it's still waiting but different! That motherhood really kicks in and it's more of a I NEED to get there before I miss out on anymore of his/her life, I NEED to get there so he/she doesn't have to spend another day in the orphanage...I just NEED to get there. I can not wait to take her in my arms and love her forever....she is so stinkin adorable!!

In the meantime I have things planned and fundraisers are a big part of that because the money we have saved is going to go fast. We are going to see selling Pizza Ranch coupons. If you're local please consider helping us met our goal of raising another 2500.00 before we leave for our 1st trip. The cost is $13.00 for a large single topping. You can either stop by our home or the nutritional club to pick them up or if you see me out and about I'll always carry a few on me.

FYI::: We are planning to do a parents night out mid Sept. We don't have all the details ironed out but we would take your children on a Sat night from 6pm - 12pm and charge a flat rate so you can enjoy date night or a night out with friends. This is open to your friends as well. I will keep you updated on date and rate.

What did "normal" people do this weekend?

I can't hardly believe it's Monday, the weekend flew by and when I share how busy we were you'll think we lost our minds. Jamie says to me Sat morning, did someone but an energizer battery in you, my answer was Yes! God did :)

Just to warn you this is going to be a long post because our weekend was the same amount of days as yours was we just slept less.

We had planned to paint the upstairs bedrooms and have talked about it for a few weeks but since our referral came and we're going to be traveling in September we decided we better get going. I have a lot of things on the "to do" list.

I paint a lot! My mom says if my walls could talk they'd say...we're full! haha isn't she cute? I usually paint the way I want but this time I let the boys do everything the way they wanted, including moving the furniture around. It was fun. We are waiting for the fathead stickers for Austin's walls so they still look bare, the white blinds and black curtains but this gives you a good idea. I will post a completed picture.


Austin's Iowa Hawkeyes Room









Now this was a fun room, maybe because it was LA Galaxy and now we can stare and David Beckham and his Herbalife jersey everyday. Tristan's room is closer to completion however we aren't 100% satisfied with the comforter. Thinking maybe a solid color would look better and he also needs curtains.

Tristan's LA Galaxy room









We are going to Sioux Falls on Saturday to get A's crib, dresser and bedding so I will also post a completed picture of her room.

A's room





We had a lot of brown in our bedrooms so this is a nice change. Jamie even thought I bought a new picture for above the bed...nope same picture the colors just really comes out because of the wall color. Love this color!

Our room







The boys also had a airsoft war with the youth group from our church last night. The played airsoft and made smores. Tristan hates bugs but we convinced him to go. When he came home he says mom it was a blast I was even jumping through the weeds!




We weren't the only one working this weekend, God was too. I have to share an update on a previous post living with no regrets. This may seem odd to some of you but we all have our own ways and not everyone understands how hard this can be so I wrote a letter to my dad, and I left it somewhere I knew he'd find it. That was a week ago Thursday and I didn't hear anything until Saturday night. We were having supper when Tristan says Hey mom! papa is here...I'll be honest my 1st thought was...not now and than immediately God said Hey Jill you asked me to help mend this and I'm doing it on my time not yours so I invited him in to have supper with us which by the way was awesome, Jamie had pork roast. It was kinda weird my dad hasn't been to our house in months but as we sat around the table making small talk I knew God was there. As he was getting ready to go he says, the reason I stopped was to find out about the boys, what are you doing with them while you go to Russia. I told him I had talked to a few people but no 100% commitment and he says I'll do it, your mom and I will work it out between us and we'll plan to stay here for your animals. Wow is that a God thing or what? I told him that was greatly appreciated several times and when he left I thanked God. God knows my heart and I want my dad to be apart of my life and I need him to be apart of my children's. The way God moved in our kitchen still makes my eyes water. Thanks for all who keep us in their prayers and keep them coming. My dad and I....we're going to make it!

I also have someone to run our nutritional club while were gone. God provided that to! We're going to Russia, the club will be open and my parents will watch the boys. God is reassuring us by paving the way that this is His plan for us.

Love
Jill