Hurdles

I've brought this big white box up a few times in the last 4 days and couldn't find a single word to write. I even wondered if I should be trying and through prayer and the help of some very special people who have listened and walked beside me the past few days I've decided that as much as I hurt I also need prayer warriors in a big way. There are some issues with Amara's paperwork on the Russian side. This could either prolong or bring us to opening our home to a different child. This hurts, this is confusing but we know that God is a big God and that He knows the plans He has for us. Sometimes it's not like we planned or hoped and that's where trust and faith is so very important. I am so thankful that I've accepted God to be my Saviour. As bad as this hurts my human heart I am at a great place of peace, which I'll be honest is very hard to explain. I sometimes think I should be more of a mess than I am and than I remember that it's God and He's comforting me.

As a selfish human I would pray that Amara comes home to us but the ultimate goal for me when I started this was to open my home to an orphan to lessen the # in orphanages and if it's not this child God knows our home and hearts are open and when He sees fit He will bring her to us. God knows that I love Amara and He knows what's best for her.

We have decided to open this to you as we know all our followers and we ask that as much as your stomach is suddenly feeling sick and shivers are creeping up your spine that you don't feel sorry for us...just pray for us and for Amara.

We sorry if we talked to some of you in the last few days or few hours and couldn't find the words to tell you. This has been tough. We are thankful for every one of your prayers and concerns and especially those who helped me through the last few days.

I will update you as we know more, however please respect our wishes that at this time we would like your prayers but don't care to share a lot of details.

God is good and He is bigger than any hurdle or bump. We're not giving up, we're not turning back. Adoption was for us to glorify God and that's still the path we're on.

I have to share this short story that I feel is so fitting for me and probably a lot of you.

At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn't know Him. But later on, when I met God, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back, helping me pedal.

I don't know when it was that He suggested that we change places, but life has not been the same since. When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable... It was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal."

I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me gifts to take on my journey...and we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high rocks, knows how to fly to shorten scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with God as my delightful constant companion. And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, He just smiles and says,

"Pedal"

~ Author Unknown ~