We may not be able to save every child, but we can respond one at a time. Do not be discouraged by numbers, but instead be encouraged that when we feed, visit, love and clothe an orphan- we did it for Christ. I tell you the truth- whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me. Matthew 25:40

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Im over it...for now

OK now that I have a small group of followers and I know whose reading the blog I'm going to let some feelings go. The past few days have not been the easiest and I'm not sure why. I have to admit that most of it is my fault. I get high hopes. I keep thinking that today will be the day we get the call on travel dates and nothing than I think OK tomorrow and nothing than OK next week and nothing. At this point I've started to upset myself so to make it worse I go looking at other peoples time lines to see how long they waited which makes it worse. We were originally told that they thought we'd travel at the end of Sept so I was hoping we'd have dates by now. We were also told that because of her age it might take longer than normal so I shouldn't be all the shocked that its been almost a month since we accepted however I'm human and I want to go now. This is when I have to remember that God is in control. On top of this the devil has been attacking me with doubt, fear and what ifs. Today I just couldn't take it and I cried out for help. I know I need to trust Him but looking at Miss A's picture everyday and not being able to see her just got to me. Tonight I spend some time in prayer, God knows my heart and He knows whats best. I have to remember that while I'm waiting I am to serve Him and right now for reasons I don't understand He needs me here more than He needs me in Russia. I will share one attack. Since I thought we might be gone by this weekend I don't have anything planned so the devil was playing around with me today, trying to make me believe that because I wasn't in Russia I deserved a Jill day when in all reality I told a friend of mine I would support her family in the Buddy Walk if I was here. I let him toy with my mind for awhile and than God spoke to me and he reminded me that while I'm waiting I was to serve Him..it's not about Jill so before the devil took one more strike at me I committed to my friend that I would be there on Sat. That may be 1 reason while I'm still here and not in Russia, God is making sure I'm listening. Another reason is He crossed our path with a family from Orange City that also adopted from Russia and we have having coffee with them tomorrow night and Thursday night we are taking the Bilby kids to Omaha to welcome their parents and Jada home from China and Sat is the Buddy Walk. I'm a tool in God's tool box and He is using me right where I am so until He says go I will serve Him right here.

I have been asked to post finished pictures of the bedrooms I was painting. They are all finished besides ceiling fans in the boys rooms and I'm having Austin's curtains made out of his bedskirt which arent finished but I will post pictures tomorrow. We have also decided that because we made our blog private to share Miss A's full name so you can start praying for us and her by name. That will be tomorrow....her name is on her bedroom wall so the secret would be out anyway. See you all tomorrow!

Love Jill

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