Genesis 22

Today as I was studying The Word the Holy Spirit spoke to me through Genesis 22. The story of Abraham and Issac. I realized after pondering this story, that God is calling me to lay Amara down on the alter out of obedience. I dream of her every day, wonder if she’s ok, wonder what she’ll look like in 6 months, think about all the firsts that I’ll miss, I long to hold her and call her my daughter. However, God has spoken very clearly to me that I must lay her down on the alter and trust Him to take care of her future. I have to be at a place spiritually where God is all I need and I am willing to lay down everything else on the alter as a sacrifice to Him. I have to be willing to lose her if it be His will, in order for Him to be willing to say, as He did to Abraham, "Jill, Jill! Now that I know you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your daughter, your only daughter" He will provide another sacrifice. I believe God has been in a long process of leading me to a place where I am willing to fully give up everything to Him so that He can give me the desires of my heart without me sacrificing my relationship with Him. Amara is already like a daughter to me and I love her so much I can't even explain it. However, I must be willing to give up everything, even her, and lay her down at Jesus' feet in order to experience the peace I know He will give me when I obey His call to sacrifice.

You see, it's not about me... It's not about Amara... It's not about Jamie or our family. It's about our relationship with Christ, and His relationship with us. If we put anything before Him and try to hold onto them tighter than we hold onto our Maker, we are being disobedient.

So, after prayer and time to accept the reality of this situation I’ve decided I am ready to lay her down at His feet for Him to do His will in her life. I pray with everything that is in me that she will be ours to care for on this earth very soon. But, if He chooses to take her, I have to be at a place that I will be ok because I will still have Jesus. It is then, that I really do believe, He will give us back our daughter.

Take a look at Genesis 22 one more time... and allow Him to speak to your heart about what you need to lay down on the alter today. When we let things go and we become ok with the fact that we could lose our most precious possessions because we will still have our Savior, it is then that He will bless us. And I do believe, His most amazing blessings are yet to come. I believe Amara is meant to be in our family, but I KNOW she is more importantly, His.

There will be days and moments where I know Satan will attack me and I will be fighting the battle to keep my heart and mind right here, in this scripture. Pray that I can stay here, and find the peace that passes all understanding in this promise revealed to me.

Thank you Jesus, for teaching me to give it all to you, so you can give more than I can comprehend in blessings back into my life. Amen.