Living with no regrets

The past day my emotions have kinda been array. This has nothing at all to do with our adoption, I'm very much at peace with that. It's something deeper, something darker....it's a broken relationship with family members that at one time I was very close to. We let many things come between us, things as a Christian I almost had to admit, greed, money, jealousy, hatred and I'm not proud to say that there have been times when I could of tried harder to mend it but didn't feel like putting in the effort. I've prayed about this for months asking God to "fix" it however I believe God was trying to tell me to "fix" it and I ignored him. Yesterday He smacked me over the head with a message and I'm acting on it. A friend of mine just lost her mom, a mom she had unresolved issues with, one she hasn't spoke to for years. I spoke briefly to my friend and saw a lot of pain...as I walked away from her and the sadness I knew that God had put me there so I'd see the reality of what could happen if I don't make the 1st move to mend these relationships. I still have a chance to say or do what I need to do, my friend don't. As I talked with God last night one question plainly came from it, could I say my good bye with no regrets and I can't so after wrestling with this the last 12 hours I have decided to make mends to 2 people I love dearly and that I couldn't stand to lose the way things are right now. My brother and my dad. Please pray for me...for us...for our family. There has been a lot of hurt feelings and a lot of pride will have to be swallowed but I believe God is telling me to move in and I'm going for it.

I am sharing this with everyone for a few reasons...I need support and prayers, I need to verbally commit myself to giving all I have to mend these relationships because I can't say good bye like this and live pleased with myself and lastly in the hopes that if any of you have a troubled relationship that holds any value to you please pray about it. Life is too short.

Love
Jill