We may not be able to save every child, but we can respond one at a time. Do not be discouraged by numbers, but instead be encouraged that when we feed, visit, love and clothe an orphan- we did it for Christ. I tell you the truth- whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me. Matthew 25:40

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Ice Skating

Ice skating for the 1st time at age 34 is not recommended! Some of our friends thought it would be fun if we all got together to go ice skating last night, we had a ton of fun. I never fell but I was very thankful for my arms...they kept me balanced. The boys have never ice skated but they caught on easily and in no time were speeding around the rink. They couldn't figure out by I couldn't go as fast as them since they never did it either, well I'm going to admit age makes a difference and I was scared...that's an embarrassing fall. We had a great time and we're pretty sure the boys will be wanting to go again.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Gobble Gang

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

So this past week I received many turkey stories via email and in person after writing about the Gobble Gang last week. You know, the wild turkey gang that keeps showing up near to where I work. They make me nervous. I don't like them. I have a bad history with wild turkeys and it's not pretty.

My favorite story came to me in church Sunday morning from my friend Eunice. She and her husband live in a place with a beautiful view. They have a few small trees in their back yard that have some type of berries on the top. They've actually witnessed a Gobble Gang fly up to the tops of these trees and plop right down on them so they can eat the berries. The trees are small. Light weight. Delicate. Not sturdy. So when the gobblers sit on top of them, the trees bow over, creating a ridiculous picture. Can't you see it? The Gobble Gang in the tree tops and the trees bending over so far the gobblers' gobbles are lost in the ground, which their wattles are touching. And for what? Teeny tiny berries that won't make one bit of difference in their big tummies.

A comical picture and yet, at times it reminds me of myself. Let's say the berries are blessings. In the Bible it says that God wants to bless us. Just like a father wants good things for his children, God wants only good things for us.

And if you're like me, you want to be blessed. You're ready for some of those blessings. You say, "Here I am, Lord. Give it to me and give it to me now!"

But sometimes God calls us to wait for those blessings. To be patient. To have faith they will come. To grow in faith while we wait. To have the discipline to obey and wait. To go through a certain season first. But sometimes we don't want to wait. We want instant blessings. Now!

So, using our little human brains we think we'll go get those blessings for ourselves. We ignore the Holy Spirit trying to counsel us to wait. We ignore the Bible verses that keep popping into our heads. Ones with the theme of waiting upon the Lord. Other giant neon signs come our way that say, "God will bless you. Just wait. And they will be humongous blessings." So do we wait? Of course not.

We find ourselves in a giant grocery store of possibilities for those who wait upon the Lord. We see several beautiful neon lights flashing. No free popcorn here, but other things like Peace of Mind. Spiritual Growth. The Peace that Passes Understanding. Joy that Comes from Long Suffering and more. So much more. Every shelf is filled with blessings. And they overflow. The more people receive them, the more the blessings grow.

But we don't want to wait. Like Abraham's wife, Sarah, we get tired of waiting. We lose faith. We try to take things into our own (incapable) hands. How do you think that works out? Not so good.

We're like the Gobble Gang. We exert so much energy getting to the top of the blessing tree that when we get up there, we can do no more. We can barely open our mouths. We can barely grab the blessings that we have a hard time seeing. They're so teeny tiny even up close. From the ground didn't they look bigger? It's like being on the old game show "Lets' make Deal." You could choose Door Number One, but you see a big box with a shiny bow. You pick that instead. When they open the box there's one dirty sock inside. And behind Door Number One? Treasures beyond anything you could have dreamed up.

So the teeny tiny berry blessings are like the dirty sock. Nothing at all what they looked like from the ground. In reality, they are simply nothing. They don't give any nourishment. They do not satisfy our thirst. They don't feed or quench any type of spiritual hunger.

So how can we get blessings from God?

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

And don't be part of the Gobble Gang. Wait on the Lord. He's worth it.

My mother gave me this article last night and it was just what I needed to hear. Sometimes I look for answers or small signs that this wait is exactly what the Lord is calling us to do. Like He owes me that or something?!?!? but He sure knows how to speck to me when I'm being still and listening instead of making so much noise myself.

I feel truely blessed this Thanksgiving, for a God that never quits, a wonderful hubby, 2 boys, a daughter waiting for us, my family, my church family, our carrers, our home, our health and thats not all I could go on and on but as we traveled home tonight from spending Thanksgiving with my parents in law I was thinking about something Im thankful for but don't think I ever expressed it so out of the blue or random like Austin says I told Jamie and the boys that I was thankful for Amara's mom and dad. Jamie just looked at me..he got it but Austin says why mom, well if it wasnt for those two very special people that I may never met we wouldnt have Amara. So tonight, no matter where they are I'm thanking God for their lives.

Remember to thank the Lord for all your blessing

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A Blessing

I am in complete awe of what God can do. Yes I know He can do the impossible but when He sends you something like this I just sit back and think wow He really is good. As we approach the holidays its a bittersweet feeling. I have so many things to be thankful for, my relationship with my heavenly Father, my family, my hubby, my kiddos, my friends, my church family, my health, you see I could go on and on yet I'm not feeling complete. A part of my heart is in Russia but God gave me a blessing today. Almost a month into our wait a blessing came from above...we got an updated picture of Amara and how sweet she is. We asked when the paper work mess started if they thought we'd see an updated picture before April/May and they said more than likely not but God is bigger and we got one. She is getting older and we're missing out on parts of her life but God keeps showing us the way. I feel very blessed to have so many pictures of her already, it's almost as if we've known her from birth.

I am thankful that I serve such as amazing God, He is so good to me and even though the next 5 months may be hard and unknown He continues to show me that He's still in this with us. What more could I ask for? As sad as I am that she's not home with us right now I'm rejoicing at the same time.

Monday, November 23, 2009

following an unknown path

I go on not knowing — I would not if I might; I would rather walk in the dark with God than go alone in the light.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Happy Adoption Day

It's almost been a year since we started this amazing journey to find our daughter. I never imagined the twists, turns and hurdles we'd have to jump to get where we are but it's been amazing. Some days are filled with joy while others are filled with tears but God is giving us peace and this kind of peace could only come from Him. Wishing everyone in the adoption circle a Happy Adoption Day, a hug for all our close friends who are looking into adoption and sending love 1/2 way across the world to a very special girl.

Dear Amara,

Mommy prays for you every single day. I never thought I'd be such a great customer of Amazon but you're room is filling up with great books that I can't wait to read to you while we snuggle in the chair. As much as I'd love to be the one caring and watching over you everyday I can't be but God is and there's nobody that I could ask who's do a better job than Him, so I know you're safe. Only 160 more days!

Love Mommy

Monday, November 9, 2009

Time has past

For those who have emailed to see if I'm alright...I am. I haven't been so faithful to my blog lately and I actually have good reason. I needed some time but it's more than that. When we first started our paperwork last Dec for me it was all about God and I didn't care who thought I was crazy for my choice to adopt or who tried to talk me out of it I was moving forward to glorify God but somewhere from the time we got that precious picture of Amara until we almost lost her I lost that purpose. I was so caught up in myself, shopping for Amara, getting her room ready that "for God's glory" took a back seat and so did my family and all that's important to me. Most of you can't imagine the emotions that where wrapped up in the last 2 months of my life unless you've personally lived it and even though it's hard and it still is I'm so grateful it all happened. I was doing things "Jill's way" and I'm glad God called out to be in a very loud bold voice. I feel I'm closer to God now than ever before and you see my friends that's His plan. He isn't doing this with the intentions to hurt me it's to strengthen me. This leads me to why I've been away...am I still going to blog our journey? Yes and am I still going to facebook? Yes but now that I feel I'm back on the path I started out on I'm going to try to stay here. This next 6 months is not mine so instead of writing in this blogger journal everyday I'm going to spend more time with the Lord, spend more one on one time with my boys and Jamie and do things that glorify the Lord. My prayer has been that He would use me as He sees fit so I'm going to stay close to Him with my eyes wide open. It's not about me and I love the Lord so much I can't wait to start living my life more for Him.

I hope God is blessing you in ways you never imagined.

Love
Jill

Monday, November 2, 2009

Let the countdown begin

Talked with our agency today and nothing has changed besides we cleared the 10 day wait from court. Our 6 month countdown offically started yesterday Nov 1st. The wait is not always going to be easy and we're just going to take one day at a time and pray the Lord gives us everything we need for that day.

Please keep Amara in your prayers as there are still alot of circumstances that we may have to work through. Pray for us as well, we never imagined what this journey was going to look like or feel like when we started it last Dec. and we're glad we didn't. When I was praying about the choice to adopt God plainly said to me "come follow me" but He never said it was going to be easy. I believe His plan was to take the longest route knowing that by doing this and giving me a vision of what I'm doing it for that I'd grow in my relationship with Him. I'm actually thanking Him for this. Of course I'd love to bring Amara home tomorrow but like I said in a previous post I want to be at a place where all I need is Him and to be filled completely by Him. I've come along ways but God has some work to do on me and I beleive that's why we're talking the long route.

Amara my precious daughter who I long to hold and cuddle with, mommy and daddy and your 2 brothers will never leave you. You are in our hearts forever. Mommy is praying for you everyday and praying that God brings one very special caretaker in your life, one who will love and care for you until we get there. I love you so much and can't wait until next spring when we can play outside and rejoice because God chose you for us. My kisses will contuine to come to you through the air and the light we put on in your room as we anticipated your coming will remain on until you arrive.

I love you Amara
Love Mommy